Thursday, July 7, 2011
Guest Post: Shout Out to the Dream Killas...
Here's a guest post from Toya of the Quarter Life Chronicles Blog!
...the naysayers, the negative nancies, and the I told you soers. The kind of people who make you want to roll your neck and say, "NOBODY ASKED YOU!"
Today, Sunny wrote a post that really upset me. At an exciting juncture in her life, people have the nerve to riddle off one negative feedback after another. It's sad. It's hurtful. It's unnecessary. I personally believe that those who only have negative comments are displacing their insecurities onto you. Because they couldn't, wouldn't, or feel they shouldn't, they think the same applies to you. I'm not saying that a person can never provide constructive criticism. But if it is not accompanied by suggestions or enlightenment, then it may be best to leave the words unsaid.
At work, I make a conscious effort never to be a dream killa. Even when a student is clearly not a math/science student and insists on pursuing the sciences, I present him/her with choices. Choice 1: Find an area of study that applies both your interests and your strengths. So if you like animals, consider studying animal rights rather than pre-veterinany medicine. Choice 2: Study harder. If this your dream then put in the effort to achieve it. I've seen students opt for either of those choices. Some succeed. Some falter. But I never killed their dream. Even when a student is academically dismissed, I let he/she know that they still have options.
There is a specific reason why...
When I first started working in higher education, the Communications Office did a feature on a graduating student. This student beat all odds. She attended an inner-city high school and during her senior year found herself pregnant...with twins. Her guidance counselor told her that college was not an option. She remembered his harsh words and trekked forward. She attended college, got married, worked, and got pregnant again (with twins, I think). She continued to trek on. It took a little longer than the traditional four years. And when she graduated... she mailed a copy of her degree to that said guidance counselor.
I never want to be that guidance counselor... that dream killa... that nay sayer. I'm a firm believer that anything is possible no matter how far fetched it may seem.